My parents would give him chance after chance after chance to get back on track with his life, but it never worked. He would say he was going to stop, he was going to get better. It never worked, but my parents were too loving and supportive to see what was to come. On my 16th birthday, all hell broke lose. We had gone out to eat, went shopping around as a family, and went antique shopping something I love more than anything. He had been off edge and crabby all day, something that by this time wasn’t out of the You are smart brave strong kind loved shirt it is in the first place but ordinary and seemed distant. When we got home, the family did presents a family tradition is to hide the presents from the birthday kid and see if they can find them and he was scowling and saying rude things to everybody. Of course, my father pulled him aside and asked him what was wrong, and when my brother responded, he did it with a knife. Me and my siblings were in the living room laughing and chatting, when we heard the screaming. In ran my mother and older sister. I was in the living room trying to keep the little girls away from the scene. I’ll never forget what I saw when I finally entered that kitchen. My father was on the floor in a pool of blood, holding his head in his hands, blood oozing between his fingers. my sister on the ground with my brother trying to talk him out of what he did, and my mother standing in the corner in shock. My younger brother on the floor cutting his wrists and crying. It was a horrible sight. My father got up and cleaned himself, and we soon after called the cops. On my 16th birthday, I was questioned by the police. My family was broken apart. The story is that my brother got angry over my father telling him to chill out for my birthday. My brother then grabbed a knife and stabbed my father in the temple (the angels were watching) when my sister and mother came in. the came to find my father and brother wrestling on the ground, my brother trying to stab my father in the kidneys. He tried to swing the knife across my sister’s neck, the tip of the blade barely gliding across her neck. My mother grabbed it out of his hands without thought, and the police took it as evidence. She says she had so much adrenaline that she doesn’t remember doing it, think it was my sister who did it, and my sister saying no, as she was too scared to. that was when I came in and saw the scene.
One of my biggest pet peeves are people who see a little old lady living on her own, know that she has kids and judge them for never visiting. If someone never visits, they probably have an actual reason, and it’s probably the You are smart brave strong kind loved shirt it is in the first place but little old lady’s fault. Remember, she wasn’t always a little old lady. Perhaps she was an abusive drunk. Who made her children’s lives an absolute hell. Sometimes, people just reap what they sowed… And you have no right to judge others without having walked in their shoes, and seen the way their parents treated them. I’ve seen plenty of cases in which the parents absolutely do not deserve visits from their children. You emotionally abused them their whole childhood and you expect them to visit? You physically abused them their whole life and then you expect them to visit? To help you? You never cared but then you expect them to care? Because what? Because you got old? Tough luck. Because you were capable of having sex and you were fertile? Well, I have to tell you, there’s more to making a parent than having a baby. It’s what comes after. It’s the love, the nurturing, the budding respect. You never offered them but expect them to be offered to you just because what… you fucked some decades ago but continued on to being a deplorable parent? You want what gratitude? No child asks to come into this world, asking them to be thankful for something they never asked for defeats basic rationality. What makes a parent worth visiting is how they treated their kids when they had the power. When their kids were helpless and at their mercy. The parents that don’t get visits? I bet the majority of them fucked up at some point, majorly. The rest? I don’t know, maybe their children suck too, we’re all human, not only parents can suck. In my thirties, I recognized this trend reasonably quickly and managed to make my peace with it. It wasn’t easy – any guy that tells you going from the spotlight to second tier is a painless process is either a liar or in denial. In my thirties, I accepted my impulse was selfish and managed to work past it. If I had been placed in that situation when I was, say, 22? I do not *for a moment* agree with or encourage the behavior that causes so many dads to leave their families and create single mothers.